12 of the 14-songs here feature the word Skateboard in the title, and a 13th is called “Skatewalk Boogie”, leaving “Blue Tile Fever” as the odd man out. In trying to find a voice for skateboarding, these artists, most probably no-names and studio “bands”, looked to the sounds associated with previous California crazes like surfing and hot-rodding for their inspiration; there's more than a healthy dose of Beach Boys influence evident on This Is Skateboard Music, provided by The Carvells' “Skateboard Queen”, with it's multipart vocal harmonizing and an incredibly catchy chorus which, and I know I'm mistaken, sounds like it rhymes "skateboard queen" with "aubergine". Eggplants are one of the classic skate moves, so who knows!
There's also some devilishly dancey disco courtesy of Sneakers & Lace on their “Skateboard Boogie”. Zafra's “Skateboard Shuffle”, too, has enough wah-wah guitars for a 70's porno or blaxploitation flick and, oh heck, how could I forget to mention the super-funky clavinet on this song – this is the sound that drove Stevie Wonder's Superstition and it fares well here too.
Zack Ferguson turns in an incredible high-tempo disco boogie called “Skateboard Dancin'”. This is the sort of track that Rip Tide would have spun on the "Gotta Dance" episode of WKRP right after snorting a few rails of coke off Jennifer Marlowe's tits. Ah, the decadence and debauchery of the disco era. The porno disco bits of This Is Skateboard Musiccomes to a conclusion with an artist by the name of Daffy Duck singing “Skateboard Honeymoon”, it could have been a dance floor classic.
Arguably the most catchy and utterly ridiculous song on the album comes from an artist by the name of Wood Lane who turns in a classic by the name of Skateboard Saturday. It's an incredibly boppy, happy British pop number, with some Beach Boys-style harmonies. Extraordinarily silly lyrics turn up the kitsch factor, "not everyone belongs to an organized skateboard team, where they can learn to ride and care for their machine, so don't hesitate and join right away, or wait for a skateboard Saturday."
As if the Carvells' ode to skate betties wasn't enough of a tribute, Sneakers & Lace once again serenade us with “Little Skateboard Queen”. I guess we have the Beach Boys inspiration to blame once again and their smashing success with Surfer Girl. Sneakers & Lace had no suck luck; they should have left The Carvells in charge.
Sneakers & Lace grace the album a third and final time for their Beach Boys imitation, “Skateboardin' USA”. They should have had to pay royalties to Brian Wilson for this one! But skating wasn’t an exclusively US craze, as a band called Rivals demonstrates with their “Skateboarding In The UK”, again made from the Beach Boys mould.
Diggler leaves no stone unturned, even managing to turn up a ballad – it’s called “Skateboard Johnny” by Jack Tempchin and has a wistful easygoing vibe. It would have fit well on the soundtrack of the classic 1970’s Stacy Peralta film, Freewheelin' a legendary skateboarding movie from way back in the day, before the Bones Brigade, Animals Chin and Lords of Dogtown.
The last song on the album, simply titled “Skateboard”, is by the only big name artist on the album, T. Rex. Sounding like an outtake or demo, it's the least kitschy song on the CD, perhaps the most universally appealing song too. It features a simple arrangement of acoustic guitar and Marc Bolan's unmistakable vocal magic.
If you like skateboarding this is gold… If you like thrift score classics this record is also gold. If skateboarding and ultra-rare kitsch finds are your bag, this is solid fucking gold. File under: Incredibly Strange, right next to Thrift Score Records’ Teen Dance Music From China and Malaysia. Gold!
